The Gratitude-Entitlement Continuum

Entitlement is a funny word.  In a concrete sense, it depicts what we deserve — what we’re entitled to.  But when we take the word from noun to verb — from “you’re entitled [to this]” to “I feel entitled [in an absolute sense]” — we run in a cross-grain direction against life and we become a nemesis, an avenger, to all.  

Against all this is gratitude — that sense of being that feels absolutely NOT entitled.  It operates at the other end of an imaginary continuum, where feeling unworthy and undeserving can be attributable to a joy that comes only from God — where we acknowledge that everything we receive is a gift.  

Paul puts it plainly like this in 1 Corinthians 4:7:

“What do you have that you did not receive?  And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?”  

Everything we have we received.  And only for a short time!  So why do we foolishly think what we have is ours?  And why do we covet more?  Well, of course, it’s natural to strive for “more for me.”  It’s evidence that there is something wrong inside us for which we need God.

Everything we receive comes from outside us.  It came from another person or situation, or in our life’s case or in the world’s case, these came from God.  

The only right response is to be thankful.  

If we can receive everything with thanks, we live gratefully.  

Turned upon itself, living thankfully is the result of a humble joy that attributes everything that one has as a gift; gifts received and gifts given from us as the overflow out of the abundance of joy that we enjoy.   

This is where entitlement is a very unwise way of living.  

When we feel entitled, we feel as if we’re deserving.  It comes across as selfish and is selfish.  It steals joy from others and ourselves.  It robs us and others of peace.  And if we genuinely feel entitled, we won’t be motivated by the joy and peace of others.  And we won’t be a gift to others but a burden.  

Entitlement and gratitude exist on a continuum and both are at the extremes.  

Let me leave you with a life-changing wisdom from M. Scott Peck:

“Life is difficult.  This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths.  It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it.  Once we truly know that life is difficult — once we truly understand and accept it — then life is no longer difficult.  Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

“Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult.  Instead they moan more less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy.”

— M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, p. 13.

But, life is difficult.  And with an entitled mindset we only make life harder for ourselves and others — anger begets anger, and fear begets fear.  But with gratitude for the abundance we have, we make a difficult life just a little easier because we have not only accepted what we cannot change, we have embraced everything as a gift — even suffering, because in suffering well we find meaning.  

While anger begets anger,
and fear begets fear — in entitlement,
kindness begets kindness,
as peace begets peace — in gratitude.  

Being grateful comes from a humble certitude that abides by the reality that life is difficult, yet it is full of reasons to be thankful.  

Being grateful comes from accepting that everything we have we received — none of it is due to our doing alone.  

Being grateful will keep us from being entitled.