Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Relational Wisdom Speaking Truth in Love

Where Christian spirituality and emotional intelligence (EQ) merge is in speaking truth in love.  The Apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:15) can be credited with situating this relational wisdom in the realm of faith.

As a peacemaking trainer and mediator using PeaceWise principles, all of Christian living in terms of relationships is grounded in this concept.  

Our task in conflict is
to speak the truth in love,
God’s job is to change hearts
(including our own).

But speaking the truth in love is the hardest thing to achieve because we must first attain knowledge of the truth, then have the courage to speak the truth with the humility of loving (and listening to) others, often with opposing views.  

The first requirement is having the wisdom of discerning the truth properly.  The second requirement is the character to balance courage in action with humility of poise.  To speak truth it must BE truth.  In the milieu of relationship, it must be a truth that others are capable of seeing as truth, too.  

Speaking truth to power in wisdom
involves humility brokered in love.

Pairing the courage of speaking a discerned truth with the kindness, gentleness, patience — common (or uncommon) grace — which is love, which of these is most challenging?  Both are!

It is hard to discern truth and then have the courage to speak it.

It is hard to execute relational self-control, especially when we’re passionate about the truth, or we’re motivated by seeking justice or righting injustice.

Which is harder?  Does it matter?  Both are challenging, and anyone who thinks they aren’t could be dangerous in relational settings.  It’s too easy for any of us to think we’ve got the market cornered in speaking truth or loving people, and especially combining the two.

Speaking the truth in love
is the quintessence of relational wisdom.

The more we revere the spiritual maturity required and respect the emotional intelligence needed, the closer we come to speaking the truth in love.  





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