Peacemakers win when it seems they lose

What does the phrase, “Blessed are the peacemakers,” really mean?  It refers to those who don’t retaliate when they’re attacked, betrayed, contravened, desecrated, or exploited are blessed—because they use the opportunity to respond the right way.

If there’s one fault with today’s form of Christianity even compared with how it was ten years ago, it’s that Christians seem to feel more entitled to react to attacks, betrayals, contraventions, desecrations, and exploitations than ever before.

Of course, it makes so much human sense.
But there’s no wisdom in reacting.

Rather than holding open to the possibility that good might be done out of bad, retaliation simply adds more fuel to the fire of conflict.

If any of this makes sense to us, it’s because we’re genuine pacifists.  A genuine pacifist will get out of the way by refusing to retaliate so as to allow divine action and appropriate sanctioned justice to potentially enter the space and heal the moment.

Being a pacifist isn’t hard, but first we must resign ourselves to the fact that worldly people will see us as losers.  The eternal irony, however, is the only way to ‘win’ in the game of conflict is by being a pacifist.  That is because the offense, the trespass, the debt, the crime is ‘on’ the offender, the trespasser, the debtor, the criminal—the person who did the harm.  The offense, the trespass, the debt, the crime is never ‘on’ the pacifist who was offended against, trespassed, the creditor, the noble one—because they did no harm.

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When a person does something to harm us or someone we love, and we don’t retaliate, but we consider what the just response is and do only that, what was done is on them, it’s not on us.

When a person takes it upon themselves to disregard us rather than considering us, and we don’t retaliate, but we consider what the just response is and do only that, what was done is on them, it’s not on us.

When a person shouts over the top of us, and we have the poise to listen and to not interrupt, their behaviour is on them, it’s not on us.  We’ve respected them while they’ve disrespected us.  

We’re the wise and loving ones and they are not, no matter what anyone says.

When someone does the wrong thing by us and we eventually forgive, we have done the right thing and it’s not on us. But if someone has done the wrong thing by us and they don’t seek our forgiveness, it’s on them, it’s not on us.  Their debt is transferred to God and we let God sort it out.

When a situation leaves us disadvantaged, yet we don’t respond out of an anger that damages people and things, we have already won the only victory worth winning.  It’s okay to be overwhelmed, sad, and even angry, to respond emotionally, but without doing harm to anyone or anything—including ourselves.

When a person corners us in conversation and expects us to respond without giving us time to think, and we’re neither combative nor shrinking, it’s on them, it’s not on us.  When they coerce us into agreeing with them, and we neither disagree or agree and just stay in the moment, it’s on them, it’s not on us.

When a person insists on taking our spot or roaring past us or otherwise enjoying something that is ours, though it may still hurt, it’s to our credit when we don’t react because we’re owed.  We only remain owed when we refuse to avenge the situation.  It’s only to our credit as long as the other person doesn’t apologise.

As soon as those who offend apologise, seeing the error in their way, making right of their wrong, committing not to do it again, and they seek our forgiveness, all is equal again.

It’s always a peacemaker’s prayer, but never our expectation, that a person might reciprocate our grace.  Our arms are the arms of receiving the repentant graciously, but we agree never to expect justice, because it only makes us angry when our expectations aren’t met.

The costs of the harms done are on those who do them.

Blessed only are those who do no harm.