The year that changed us

“Unprecedented,” is apparently the most overused word of 2020.  Chances are you’re turned off right now.  The truth is many of us are simply exhausted by change.

At the end of April, I recall a meme that said,

“29 days in February
300 days in March
5 five years in April”

It felt that way, and yet there have been many days that felt like entire months since then.

Many ordinary people have been required to give extraordinary efforts.  Many hard-working people have lost their incomes.  Many healthy people have lost their lives.  Many who would have been safe at other times found themselves very unsafe in their homes during many national lockdowns.  Many simply lost hope.  And just about everyone has family they’ve been (or are) separated from.

For one thing, there is a good chance the year has completely reframed how we view life.  If beforehand we lived as though life were uncertain, we now live as if nothing can be guaranteed.  Yes, there is a subtle yet significant difference.

At times like these I think we all recognise the importance of each individual’s mental health, because we have found it unpredictable — more erratic than ever — personally and as we consider our family and friends, so many of us have been rocked by sudden onsets of exhaustion, bewilderment, frustration, despair.

We have realised just how frail life is, and that has an impact on how we see everything else.

Perhaps it would be fair to say that every year changes us.  Each year does.  But this year... (don’t let me mention the word ‘unprecedented’!)

I’ve heard many pining for 2021 as if a person’s fortunes will change when the calendar ticks over.  That hope’s a dangerous one because it has bargaining written all over it.  Bargaining is fine if you can do a deal.  But life is more like Russian roulette than a business transaction.

This year has changed us, and at this time it’s worth counting the cost.  Why?

Like bargaining, denial carries us along the edge to nowhere.  But when we face our losses, and then take the choice to be thankful for the memory of what we loved that we lost, we may be granted the ability to carry our losses with us as cherished possessions of grief.  Sound ridiculous?  What else can we do to make the best of lamentable situations?

Maybe what we take out of this year is resilience.  We can be thankful that we had the strength to survive myriad challenges and that we learned we had resources we didn’t know we had.

Perhaps it’s hope that take into the years that unfold; even though this year has taken us to the brink, it hasn’t totally crushed us, and that’s something to celebrate.

Maybe it’s purpose that we’re won to.  It could be that we’ve gotten closer to family or the fundamental things in life — or that we WANT to.  If we have purpose, we have meaning for life.

If we’ve learned anything about life in 2020 it’s that we ought to be grateful for what we have when times are both good and not so good.  There is always something to be thankful for.  Even if it’s been the hardest year of our lives so far, we have something for which to be gratified.

Even if it’s just one thing.

Photo by Phinehas Adams on Unsplash