When God seems distant and you may even feel abandoned

One of the commonest experiences in Christian faith is feeling that God is distant or has abandoned us.  The trouble is many people can feel that it’s their fault, or that it’s a reflection on their own faith, or that they mustn’t be good enough or that they are unworthy, or they’ve done something to displease or disappoint God.  It tends to be the enemy’s voice that contributes to this perception we may hold.  Of course, it can make it a lot worse if a Christian leader or someone we trust puts it back on us, and makes it our fault, oversimplifying the problem.

The last thing we need when we are feeling distant from God, or that we have felt abandoned, is to be gaslit, where the responsibility is put back to us to resolve.  This is a subtle form of abuse, i.e., it doesn’t help and often produces much hurt, and it tends to be quite common.

What people need most of all when they’re feeling that God is distant, or that they feel they’ve been abandoned by God, is gentleness and respect, because the problem is always very complex, and usually has very little to do with what the person is doing or has done.

First of all, we must realise that many of the saints, Biblical writers, and mothers and fathers of the faith felt these same things.  Indeed, it is much more likely, history will show us, to experience that God is distant or that we feel abandoned, if we have been a long time in the faith and have worked diligently on our relationship with God.

I think of Psalms 13:1-2, 22:1, 44:24, and 77:1-9 right off the bat, much of Job, Ecclesiastes, even some of Paul’s writings, e.g. 2 Corinthians 12:7, but there is so much of the Bible that speaks to God feeling distant and feelings of abandonment.  Abandonment is such a powerfully negative thing for so many people, and it springs back to experiences of abandonment when we were most vulnerable; when we had no other choice but to trust our most intimate caregiver who may have let us down, or worse, abused us.  It is therefore very understandable to have the deepest crisis possible when we feel abandoned by God.

Backing up the biblical witness of the veracity of feeling abandoned is someone like Saint John of the Cross, who wrote Dark Night of the Soul.  Indeed, many of the mystics, those ardent Christian writers and doctors of the church, many of whom lived in the dark ages, spoke of this most visceral suffering.  We actually are in very good company when we feel distant from God or feel abandoned by the Divine.

Rather than spend a lot of time on why this occurs, because this is a very complex subject, and entire volumes of books are written on it, can I propose a simple course of action to feel God more?

If we are simply able to discern a good or kind thing to do, the exercise of patience or compassion, and doing something that is right, we may begin to feel God’s pleasure — to feel we have pleased God.  Righteousness and peace are connected in the Bible — for instance, Psalm 85:10, Isaiah 9:7; 32:17, Hebrews 7:2; 12:11, and James 3:17-18.  Whenever we do something that is right, particularly when it involves sacrifice on our own part, peace usually results.  If the cause is doing what is right, peace is the effect.  To peace, hope and joy are connected.  All this from doing what is right.

The main thing to bear in mind is that distance from God and feeling abandoned are normal within the experience of faith.  They are nothing to feel ashamed or inadequate about.  Indeed, these feelings usually precede the maturing of faith, and we usually experience these feelings when we already have much maturity in the faith already.  In other words, afterwards we may find that God allowed us a little distance to strengthen the relationship, not weaken it.

Crises of faith usually precede massive revelations and awesome epiphanies if we don’t give up.

Photo by Billy Pasco on Unsplash