When battling for the strength to go on

Suffering and silence seem to go hand-in-hand.  Chances are if you are suffering right now, you are doing so in such silence of isolation there is little hope of help.  We often feel hamstrung to reach out, because we don’t want to be a burden, or we don’t feel we can, or there isn’t the help available, or thought of any interaction is just the most lamentable thought.  There are so many reasons why we suffer in silence.  At least as we suffer in silence, we have permission to suffer as we would like to suffer.  Strange is that might seem to read.

When we are battling for the strength to go on, somehow we need the voice of inner wisdom to kick in and tell us things like, “It’s okay, this too shall pass,” and, “Be gentle with yourself... remember, you can get through this one day at a time.”

But we are likelier to be hard on ourselves and to think that what we’re experiencing will either never end or feel that the present moment is untenable.  These are incredibly real feelings that can only be overcome through a mind that calms the heart; that causes us to sit and be with oneself.  But I have to say, this can feel impossible to do.

As we attempt to do that, as we attend to ourselves, because frankly we have little or no energy left to do anything else, we might notice what’s going on not only in our minds, and what we are feeling, and very importantly what is going on in our bodies.  Of course, it can be very disconcerting, especially as we realise what we are feeling.  But being present with and for ourselves is what can genuinely get us through such a dark time.

There is probably no substitute for support at times when we are battling for the strength to go on, but I’m not presuming here that you’re in the place to reach out.  Reaching out in these circumstances, however, really is a step of faith, and rarely do such steps backfire if we can find a trusted, safe friend to sit with us, who will listen and kindly not try and fix us.

Please know that whatever you’re feeling is not something you should feel guilty or ashamed about.  To desperately want to be relieved of the pain is normal.  To want to be done with the pain is normal.  To you want to escape is also normal.  What is also normal is the inner desire to get to a place where life and hope and joy and peace can begin again.  If you keep stepping, one day at a time, one moment at a time, and stay safe, this grief, too, shall pass.

If you feel you need to reach out, here are international helplines: https://checkpointorg.com/global/

Photo by Krists Luhaers on Unsplash