How can I tell if my healing is on track?

June is PTSD awareness month, and I write this with the goal in mind to contribute in some small way, a reflective tool for the person in their recovery.

So, what are the signs of recovery? What are the affirmations of progress? I know one thing for sure; progress is not perfection, never was and never will be.

As we recover from whatever we’re recovering from we acknowledge in all humility that our times are a journey, a pilgrimage, a trek; from one place to another, whereby the whole point is the journey, the pilgrimage, the trek. There is no thought for destination, even if our soul yearns for it, as it inevitably will.

Here are some pointers of growth toward healing on the road to recovery:

1.   Your capacity to feel is improving. Little by little, you’re noticing anger, feeling depressed, anxiousness, fear, dread, and myriad other form of emotions, may not be felt less, but your reaction to them is a little more acceptable. You endure a little better the emotions that feel ugly on the palate of your countenance. And you count it as a gain in maturity. More and more, you can sit in the unpleasantness of grating emotions and accept them for what they are. Of a sense, this is because you have come to an acceptance of your reality. This is nothing to be scoffed at. It is a real possession of spiritual mastery.

2.   You can bear your analytical mind a little easier.  This is the key marker in our quest for a vision of our spirituality that has ascended on high with God. The key differentiation is the mind still analyses, but it hurts less, or the hurt may have disappeared altogether. Either way, it is a decisive victory. It is one of those things that God promised from long ago, but that you in fact doubted would ever happen. You are perfectly reasonable in your doubting. But somehow God has come through and has delivered you from significant cognitive pain. You may only be a little way there, but I want to encourage you; God will finish this work that has been started in you, and it will be complete in your lifetime.

3.   The gap between what happened and now marks a new season.  There comes a time, post trauma, where there is sufficient distance in time and space that delivers a certain perspective, and that perspective gives us what we need in terms of trying again. Whatever it was that traumatised us, we are now willing to try it again, but obviously with the benefit of having wisdom and a safer context. At this point we see that God has gone before us. He has in fact prepared the way. And the longer that time goes on, the more blessed is the perspective we gather and gain.

4.   We have learned to be gentler on ourselves.  This is a true wisdom; anyone who can draw upon compassion for themselves, especially when it comes to behavioural outcomes, like the things we do, has learned not just how to care for themselves, which is crucial life skill, but they are now also trustworthy to care for others. See how we don’t have the traits of being able to care for others if we cannot care for ourselves? This is an important correlation. And when we witness that we are gentler on ourselves without feeling guilty, and we know it to be right, suddenly me know it is right, and God encourages our heart with tenacity for life. This is especially pertinent when old scripting re-emerges. There is no scathing attack, no shrinking in shame, and no outburst toward others. Which brings me to my final point…

5.   Your relationship with perfection has matured. Note that I say that your relationship with perfection isn’t mature, just that it has matured, somewhat to a very great deal—along a sliding scale. You may even glory in the fact that you are imperfect, and the more you do, the less fear you feel, the more vulnerable you can be, the realer you are, the humbler the confidence you embody. You cannot threaten others and they’re no threat to you. What we’re getting close to is the absolute pinnacle of human experience. There is no need of false pretence, nor is there any need to covet the future or regret the past. All that matters is the present.

Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash