Don’t fall for life’s cruellest curse

One of the saddest things I’ve ever heard in the counselling setting is words to the effect, “Learning this is beyond them.”

The ‘this’ I speak of is an important life lesson that would keep a relationship alive, but the person on the other side of the transaction does not show they are capable of change.

It’s life’s cruellest curse. To think that we might find ourselves united to someone in friendship or marriage or work or some other way and find that change is beyond them. It’s a curse to the hopes of both, but it’s just plain wrong, when for the want of honesty, anyone of normal capacity can learn anything.

But… the narcissist. Sorry, there’s that caricature again.

The pattern narcissist refuses point blank to see it, because they cannot believe a reality that is not rigidly theirs. They can’t cope with not being able to manipulate the reality to suit themselves. And, for that, everyone loses!

Learning is life’s goal, but people who cannot accept this are destined to live a life forever limited by their own fantasy. But they mess with the hopes of any others who yoke themselves to their buggy.

Life, as I’ve often said, is the learning ground. It’s our destiny to be open, to see, to observe, to absorb, to learn, to grow, and to transcend our doggedness to remain as children.

Don’t fall for life’s cruellest curse, which is to put blinders on and go on merrily thinking you’re right when others are hurting as a consequence. Do better. Let go of the prevailing self-perception that runs counter to the prevailing truth. At least be open to the idea that a big part of any of us is the capacity to be wrong!

It’s our wrongness, however,
that forever propounds our potential to learn.

Instead of falling for a curse that will curse others, not to mention our ascendants, who will carry the curse with them if they’re jaded enough, we could throw open our doors to an enquiry that sets itself on the truth and the truth alone.

Anyone who desires to live
accordant to the truth will be blessed.

This is a truth of life
and of faith and of experience.

The greatest acquisition we can make in the spiritual life is to live committed to the truth whatever the cost may be, for such a commitment will always cost. Indeed, I would say that this is the spiritual life:

The spiritual life is an honest life,
a learning life, a life open
to the cut and thrust of love,
which ever gives of itself to and for others.

We only get one go at life. It’s up to us whether we’ll transcend this issue of our stuckness. Can we embrace a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty? If we can, then we can become fully adult. Any of us who can be honest can do it.

Do you know what is beautiful? Two human beings in connection. Two human beings, or a team of human beings, who can depend on one another to the extent of interdependence—a fully functional, efficient and effective nuanced sense of relationship that works because it works.

When connection becomes the flux gluing humanity, humanity can achieve anything. But humanity is ever frustrated without it, and so too are the purposes of God.

Photo by Bruno van der Kraan on Unsplash