A difference between a victim and a survivor

I don’t know who Candace Owens really is. I understand her viewpoint and try to help people who have a victim mentality overcome it. But I don’t think #MeToo or #ChurchToo is anything essentially about people being shackled to their victimhood. Like a great many people, I don’t have much of an interest in politics, but I do have an interest in people having a voice on important issues.

To me, the issue surrounds the matter that people who have suffered abuse behave like ‘victims’ for a reason. Nobody who is a victim of abuse likes the idea. They would prefer not to suffer from post-traumatic stress, etc. And through courage most victims will go on to become survivors of abuse. They survived it!

And that is our preferred term. Survivor. Not victim.

Of course, I know what Candace Owens is driving at. It can seem like we are our own oppressors. It doesn’t sound like Ms. Owens is a survivor (or a victim). She may be? It seems that her tweets on this matter, however, lack empathy. I gather she has a political persuasion to uphold. I understand her advocating for that, and I think I understand her position, but I do not understand why she has targeted all victims.

It seems a little strange to me. Surely the majority of the argument is related to the actual Cavanaugh case. I can understand her taking that position; taking the view that the allegation is false or irrelevant. (Let’s leave that issue alone for the purposes of this article.)

But why does she target those victims in the majority — those people who she says have become their own oppressor, because they have some kind of permanent view of their victimhood — in such a way that lacks empathy. Wasn’t the issue just about some kind of alleged false accusation?

I said that I don’t have a political preference, but I suppose I will be painted into the Left corner. I just have a concern for humanity; for fairness of the individual.

But the real point I want to make is there is a difference between a victim and a survivor. A victim is what we are, pre-recovery. A survivor, on the other hand, is someone who is committed to recovery, and many survivors become advocates, and I think it is this that irks those who have perhaps never suffered abuse; those who have only known power and privilege or have been so fortunate. Many people we call survivors are still victims if you looked at the ongoing trauma they continue to experience. Amazingly, they continue to ‘show up’ in life, and we ought to thank God for those lives who have long departed who suffered so much.

Empathy. This is what is needed. Just this. Only this.

It is important for people who have experienced abuse to be able to advocate against it, even by drawing attention to it in order to educate the uninformed or ill-informed.

So, there is a difference between the victim and a survivor. Victims will remain damaged and will propagate damage, making society worse. Survivors are committed to a new way, by following the road less travelled.

We ought to encourage survivors, because they have life experiences we should want to learn from.