Two fresh discoveries as father and husband

‘Meg bit Ted,’ my son read out, immediately his eyes filling with tears. Even before he read those words I had sensed something was about to happen. I consoled him, before asking him if he was okay. He said he was, but clearly, he hadn’t quite recovered. Being that it was before the school day had commenced, I mentioned to the teacher what had happened, and she said, ‘Oh that’s sweet — that’s empathy.’ I agreed. We went and sat on the mat, and then my son said he didn’t really want a dog because he didn’t want his teddy bear to be bitten.

Empathy can suffer a broken heart.

Empathy can experience the fullness of God’s reality.

Empathy can be bravely vulnerable.

Yet we often suppress empathy
because it feels like weakness.

And thankfully we don’t protect our children
from these experiences at school.

Particularly in an increasingly narcissistic age,
one of the greatest gifts we can give our children
are opportunities to experience and express empathy.

Then I called my wife at work to let her know what had taken place. Of course, it melted her heart. Then something very unremarkable happened. We ended the call in the same way we normally end calls when one of us is at work, with a simple goodbye, and not with an ‘I love you.’

Suddenly God showed me something. Up until recently I had been saying ‘I love you’ whether my wife said it or not. In not saying ‘I love you’ was I missing an opportunity to communicate my love, even if my wife didn’t feel comfortable reciprocating given that she was at work?

The opportunity is to recommence telling her that I love her, and not be bothered that she cannot reciprocate in that situation. I had simply followed her lead, having thought it was the right thing to do to stop saying I love you. But the better opportunity is to continue saying I love you whilst accepting that it is best for her not to reciprocate in that situation.

I really feel God was saying,

love reaches forth without expecting
the other to reach back.

Love loves because it can,
not because it must,
not because it’s cajoled,
and definitely not to be repaid.

I subscribe to the view that none of us knows when we breathe our final breath, and I would prefer for all my loved ones to know through my words just how I do feel about them.

Some days whizz by without much fanfare, but there are other days that are just full of significant experiences. Within 30 minutes there were two experiences that are significant in the eternal realm.

Why would I communicate these things this way to you, today?

It could be as simple as being reminded of the sanctity of life which is enriched by commonplace experiences that we all have.

We all have those simple and powerful moments with our children. All our children are special. My child is no more special than yours! All our precious in the eyes of God.

Love has its living opportunities.
We take them today or we miss them forever.
And if we miss them today,
we take them tomorrow.

As we journal about our experiences we allow God to enrich us through the precious experience of reflection. This is simply what I’ve done here.

Truly I wonder what on earth we really have.
Death, of all things, teaches us to be open in this way.

I know that we have love, and those that God gives us to love. We may and most of us do have myriad possessions. All the stuff we have is ultimately swept away, and yet one thing remains throughout all eternity — the spiritual connection we have with each other.