This wrangles
with our pride: people presuming they: 1) know
what’s going on for us in our experience; 2) think they know what we are
thinking; 3) can give us advice when perhaps we just don’t need it. Yet, such a
pride is veiling the truth. Some people are out of step with how to discern and
deliver upon love. For, love has as its precursor – the other person and what they
need. Love is not about the person doing the loving; it’s all about the object
of the affections – the subject
before each one of us.
But the reality of this life is harsh. We are
likely to need to suffer the fool gladly. That person is trying their best to
love us, even if, in doing that, they transgress love.
We are to be full of grace. Yet such grace is
nothing if not a miracle if it isn’t worked on incessantly for months and
months and months.
Character growth is always a slow process.
Particularly in the processes of ‘sandpaper ministry’, as we rub each other up
the wrong way we tend to say things that people find hard to bear; they say
things that we find, equally, that grate.
And, yet, few of us would perturb others
deliberately.
When Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what
they are doing,” he prayed
such a relevant prayer that finds itself pertinent in many of our situations.
We often do not know in the moment of our
transgressions what our transgressions are or how they affect those impinged.
We know this is true by the amount of times others put their foot in it, when
it comes to us, without wishing to.
Grace comes into its own when we find that we
are no longer irritated by the ignorant offerings of the uninformed.
If we are to forgive the common person their
common transgression we will find ourselves being forgiven.
As we forgive the situations that seem to
thwart us – as we are given to a moment’s surreal sense in the sweeping tide of
temptation to anger – we are practicing
such a God-anointed character trait. It’s no good trying hard to our own
exasperation. It’s myriads better to contemplate really feeling love toward
those we have forgiven.
***
Forgiving a transgression with understanding is
like a prayer to receive that same understanding when we are the transgressor.
Forgiveness understands the common human frailty and extends the
wisdom of God in making such wisdom personally accessible.
Forgiveness, hence, is the wisdom of God, so those who forgive
borrow righteousness.
Forgiveness is the wisdom of God. Resentment is the bitterness
of humanity’s folly.
© 2014 S. J. Wickham.
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