Word association time: what’s the
first thing that comes to your mind when the word “depression” is raised? Many people have strong views on what depression is
about, but what does God say on the subject? How might we know other than to
delve into the Scriptures in determining what God has said, and continues to
say?
Firstly, it needs to be said, as
we plunge straight into the depths in experiencing the calamitous despair of
depression, that serious questioning of our existence is palpable.
Even people who have never
experienced depression have had depressed days. Our existence involves us in
the emotions—and none of us escape.
Let’s move on now to the Word of
God—to times when the important biblical figures approached desperation and
experienced despair:
Moses complained bitterly to the Lord, “If this is the way you are going
to treat me, put me to death at once—if I have found favor in your sight—and do
not let me see my misery.”
— Numbers 11:15 (NRSV)
For Moses, in that situation and
headspace, to be put to death would have been a blessing.
But, are we even supposed to speak
to God like this? Are we to judge our own lives? Are we to wish for our own
deaths?
We may undo our devotion to God by
doubting that life can take us in this direction, where we might meet a
destination-of-soul beyond sense.
God wants us to be more realistic
than that. When we are not so naïve as to put ourselves beyond wishing it all
away, we actually appreciate life a whole lot more. If characters like Moses
and Job and Elijah all entertained their deaths—in the starkness of depression—we
will too. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Then we may come to a time when
our depression has come because of an external threat. Fear has induced our depression. Everyone gets
scared. Even a brilliant and brave prophet in Elijah was once in fear for his
life:
“But Elijah [having received the
death threat from Jezebel] went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came
and sat down under a solitary broom tree. He asked that he might die: ‘It is
enough; now, O Lord, take away my
life, for I am no better than my ancestors’.”
— 1 Kings 19:4 (NRSV)
Added to his fear was a sense of
sheer disappointment at having let down God. Elijah was burned out, lonely, and
seems to have lost his sense of purpose. But God encouraged Elijah by appearing
before him; in “sheer silence.” (1 Kings 19:12)
Experiences of God’s Presence are
without doubt encouraging and revelatory.
***
But as we vacillate out of
despair, reclaiming our energy for yet another hour, we might move from fatigue
back into a place of bitter complaint.
Irritation and Agitation are close
cousins within the family of Depression; just like Depression and Grief are long-lost
siblings, and with them, Anxiety.
In depression, complaint is never
too far away.
The Veracity of Bitter Complaint
We have all had desperately unfair times like these where Job was
heard to say:
“I loathe my life;
I will give free utterance to my
complaint;
I will speak in the bitterness of
my soul.”
— Job 10:1 (NRSV)
It was bad enough that Job had
lost his family, all his possessions, and had been afflicted by a painful skin
disease. Now what makes matters worse is the antagonism in his ‘friends’.
We can deal with all sorts of
challenges when we are afflicted with the support of empathy; of a listening
ear; of just plain understanding.
But when we have no support, whilst we are in the presence of
circumstances that have betrayed us, how else would we respond but complain, at
least initially?
***
Joshua said, “Ah, Lord God!
Why have you brought this people across the Jordan at all, to hand us over to
the Amorites so as to destroy us? Would that we had been content to settle
beyond the Jordan!”
— Joshua 7:7 (NRSV)
Sometimes we really feel God has
led us to a place, a time, or a situation, before then we feel abandoned. It
makes no sense to us and we are livid.
We think of Joshua as a book of
victory, but God is quick to confirm to us in the reading that through all
victories is the resplendence of much indifferent experience. Especially where
leading a group of people is concerned, there are bound to be frequent and
heartrending disappointments. Life, even in the midst of eventual victory, is a
mysteriously convoluted experience where we are all pushed to our limits.
Some of us, having led a group or
a process or something, have felt that sense of injustice for having been
abandoned; either by God or by the people concerned. And whilst we can feel
rejected at the foot of people, we know in our logical minds that God never rejects us. But within bouts
of depression we are hardly logical, or our logic is fleeting and seems
controlled entirely by external sources.
The basic fact that we find
complaint allowable, even brandished, in the Bible tells us that God is not only
more than big enough to receive our honest laments, but he expects us to get depressed—importantly, as impetus
to faith (see John 16:33, for instance).
We will not offend God in our
honesty before him.
When It’s Time for Tears – Times for All
Whether the depression is here today and gone tomorrow, or
whether it lasts for a season or on and off for our lifetimes, the shedding of
tears, or of anger, is natural. Of course, God understands; even when we are
given to being angry with him:
“For my life is spent with sorrow,
and my years with sighing;
my strength fails because of my
misery,
and my bones waste away.”
— Psalm 31:10 (NRSV)
In tears we have our irrationality
proving us as human. Sometimes our tears are because we have been irrational or we feel irrational.
At other times we just have no answer:
“I sink in deep mire,
where there is no foothold;
I have come into deep waters,
and the flood sweeps over me.”
— Psalm 69:2 (NRSV)
We can well imagine the flood the
psalmist talks about, above, is that torrent of tears taking us into an
emotional oblivion, without vision of hope. Tears are for the overwhelmed, and
God created us in ways to cry in order that we would have some capacity for the
inevitable moments where we feel besieged.
We often feel over our heads in
life, and, if we focus too much on the future, fatigue will beset us. But the
end of tears comes in the knowledge that God is near; that God, indeed, is our
rest; remembering God’s faithfulness:
“Return, O my soul, to your rest,
for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.”
— Psalm 116:7 (NRSV)
The experience of God’s rest is
what God is saying in our depression—that there exists a time, ahead, where
rest will be found if we keep seeking. We are benefactors of humility-informed
wisdom post-depression. We receive God’s invitation to rest with more
willingness.
When There’s Reason For Hopefulness Out
Of Helplessness
At the end of matters, having
traversed the fullness of depression’s journey, there is the indication of
hopefulness, however fleeting, in replacing varying senses of helplessness. We
may suddenly have the experience of God’s Presence with us, giving us
confidence and the ability to endure. Even if times are hard we have access to
rest:
The Lord said to Moses, “My presence will go with you, and I
will give you rest.”
— Exodus 33:14 (NRSV)
This is a hope we can hold to
beyond our circumstances. No matter our challenges, wherever we are hopeful we
can surmount them. Perhaps the greatest blessing out of depression is knowing
that we have survived; knowing the effect and impact of resilience to keep
trudging.
Sometimes all we need is an
encouraging word:
“Anxiety weighs down the human
heart,
but a good word cheers it up.”
— Proverbs 12:25 (NRSV)
Anxiety will shake our confidence
in hope, but when we feel secure—by many languages of love that are
meaningful—we trust God more. The depressed person needs to be encouraged in
ways that are meaningful to them.
A ‘Rest’ Superior to All Others
What provides a good extension for
our hopefulness is the reality of the Sabbath rest of God. Jesus comforts all
those who truly believe in him by the comfort only our Saviour can give.
“Come to me, all you that are weary
and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon
you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find
rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
— Matthew 11:28-30 (NRSV)
I suspect we have all felt spiritual
conflict at different times in our lives. If we have, and we have experienced
this rest of Jesus’, we have known a sort of comfort that exceeded our
expectations. Our circumstances remained as they were, yet we were able to bear
them in more palatable ways.
***
What God says about depression is
that it’s normal to life. We live in a mad world. But we live, also, in a world
controlled by God. At every point in our depression, God encourages us. And, by
faith in Jesus, we enjoy rest beyond our understanding.
© 2012 S. J. Wickham.
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