Thinking with Humility in Meetings with People

Like almost everyone, I get nervous from time to time, particularly in some important meetings, and particularly again when I have to speak. It’s the introversion of my very slight extroversion coming out of me.

Realistically, nerves like this reveal an over-abundance of self-awareness, and that’s distal to humility, which is an attendant focus on others as well as self.

I have found a useful technique that I’ve loaned from integrating both reality television and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP)--the science of studying, then modelling and perfecting excellence in human behaviour and interaction employing emotional intelligence (my definition).

What I do when I’m in an important meeting and I start to feel a little fidgety, awkward or nervous i.e. overly self-aware, is pretend that the meeting is being filmed as part of an episode of reality television.

Imagine for a moment the cameras rolling, panning around the room, focussing in on people at strategic points. The camera focuses on the general environment and context, and on people specifically, but not on us alone.

Now, imagine that our mind is that camera. Our mind’s eye is now focused on things more general than our own heightened sense of self-awareness. Doing this gives us a special appreciation of the actual dynamics of reality within the present context. Less heightened self-awareness means more of our conscious mind can invest in others, their words, tone and body language, plus the overall setting.

A technique like this really does help us appreciate our special role in that meeting without our nerves controlling things detrimentally.

Copyright © 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.