Two Wrongs Don’t Make It Right

One of the most incorrectly quoted pieces of Scripture must be the ‘eye for eye, tooth for tooth’ passages out of Exodus and Deuteronomy. Both passages talk of consequences under that ancient law for specific situations like ‘men fighting who (accidently or purposefully) hit a pregnant woman causing her premature birth or serious injury,’ and for ‘malicious witnesses’ who demonstrate evil via their actions of false accusation. The other passage where this is discussed is more damning and less helpful for the Christian age because it says:

“ ‘If anyone takes the life of a human being, he must be put to death. Anyone who takes the life of someone's animal must make restitution--life for life. If anyone injures his neighbor, whatever he has done must be done to him: fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth. As he has injured the other, so he is to be injured. Whoever kills an animal must make restitution, but whoever kills a man must be put to death. You are to have the same law for the alien and the native-born. I am the LORD your God.’ ” (Leviticus 24:17-22 NIV)

This law of commensurate restitution could presumably be extrapolated to all sorts of situations. Indeed, many non-believing people quote this text in an excuse to fire retaliatory remarks or take reprisal action on those who’ve sought to wrong them whether intentionally or inadvertently. There is no forgiveness for the wounds inflicted: “don’t get mad, get even” is the motto. People who aim to and act on getting even never achieve true happiness this way, though they might fool themselves due to their spiritual blindness. Wronging people never ever makes us happy.

It is a fact of life that interactions always cause conflict, and offended people are everywhere really. I do recall though phases of my life where the fellowship was that congenial it was pure pleasure to live and breathe. From my time living on this planet, I can only say I’ve experienced this living in Christian community, though I dare say there are other ways of getting there.

The antithesis of an ‘eye for an eye’ is ‘two wrongs don’t make it right.’ We’ve grown up invariably with this ‘law’ of relationships firmly thrust into our minds; many mothers and fathers have reeled out the old cliché as part of the daily wisdom diet. Needless to say, because it became cliché we neglected its powerful truth, which is hence:

Conflict is rarely, if ever, solved by one party taking task with another. Conflict can only really be handled one way. The party on the receiving end issues grace, both in the moment (and this takes courage and faith) and later or as time goes on. They don’t allow a resentment to build, because they managed the issue within their own mind and heart in the first place. This person understands that it takes a hurt person to want or need to hurt others; this helps them have compassion (pity) on the offender and can even lead to greater understanding. Where it can get difficult for appropriate responses is when the attacks are frequent and ongoing. How else could we survive, and for the relationship to have any chance, other than to surrender it to God?--yes, each day and each moment, if need be.

The most responsible process for resolving being wronged is to respectfully handle the offender in the moment, issuing grace, and then arrange a mature adult discussion with plenty of reflective listening a few days later when tempers have simmered. The key is understanding; their needs and not ours. We see, our emotions take us into our wounded child states almost instantly. Conflict is never resolved there. When we’re there we can only be or stay hurt.

Two wrongs never make it right. It’s up to us and our response to stop ‘wrongness’ dead in its tracks. Response is a choice as it is a habit--to do it consistently. When we can become beyond getting hurt in these moments i.e. we can see acutely from the other person’s viewpoint, and we truly empathise, we are all of a sudden beyond their offense--then, and only then, can we help the situation. It often requires much practise and trial and error to get it right.

One wrong, with understanding, can often be corrected. Two wrongs, however, don’t usually make it right.

Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.