Some People Are Just Beyond Reach

The ‘rock bottom’ is the moment (or moments [plural] if we are slow at learning) in life when we come face to face with a tragic destiny all our own stupid making. It’s when the ‘birds have come home to roost’ as the popular saying goes. This is personified Wisdom’s take on things:

“Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares... ‘If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you.

‘But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you--when calamity overtakes you like a storm, when disaster sweeps over you like a whirlwind, when distress and trouble overwhelm you.’”

-Proverbs 1:20, 23-27 (NIV).

Wisdom is personified in Proverbs so we can understand the character of life. If we don’t heed the warnings that come, the ‘whacks of life’ will certainly come. Then we will not be able to return to the ‘pre-whacked’ condition or position no matter how much we complain, stamp or protest. And the character of life dictates that it will mock us simply because there is no return, and because we will say, ‘But, I’m ready to change now’--‘Too late,’ personified Wisdom (i.e. life) with say.

The classic feature of the alcoholic or chronic overeater or drug-dependent person is they don’t know how to yield, and give way to stimulus that says ‘stop’! They also don’t want to stop, because in Dr. Phil McGraw’s terms, they’re getting good rewards from their behaviour. The costs of stopping and changing seem to be higher than the costs of continuing with the harmful habit.

Rock bottoms are tragic to witness or hear, but they’re also quite motivational when someone’s used the rock bottom to learn and succeed from i.e. when they’ve escaped from the life of bondage. Anyone who’s ever been involved in group therapy could probably attest to this when listening to someone with a ‘rock bottom’ to share. It’s a tragedy or a triumph, and anything in between. I’ve heard stories of one imprisonment after the other, assaults, and deaths etc as tears of devastation are shed. Or there are the failed relationships because one warning after another after another was not heeded and desperation turned to despair and a walking-out. But then there’s the person who really did turn their life around--these are the walking testimonies of faith, strength, courage and hope.

Some people are simply beyond reach--there’s nothing we can do to love them in ways they’ll even begin to receive it. And I wonder if these people are like this because they’ve never known true love. In other words, they’ve never bonded to a parent or known their love; they’ve possibly never been nurtured unconditionally.

If my proposal is correct it’s a sad fact that some people will never respond to our overtures no matter how loving and caring we are. All we can do is pray for a softening of their heart to respond to the truth at some point.

Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.