Maintaining balance is harder than attaining it. This is obvious or seems obvious yet we often forget it. I was asked recently by a mentor what would I rate my current work satisfaction levels out of ten. I gave him a frank eight. I was very happy at work at that time. Then two days later, or was it the following day, things turned sour all of a sudden. What was that eight again? -- was it more like a four?
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It seems to me we all have our good days and not-so-good days. Unlucky days are more noticeable, however, because we need time to recover, whereas successful days we tend to take for granted.
It seems to me we all have our good days and not-so-good days. Unlucky days are more noticeable, however, because we need time to recover, whereas successful days we tend to take for granted.
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When we’ve taken a blow or two during a particular day, we can berate ourselves can’t we? We get into this ‘cognitive loop’ whereby we rehash the silly error, or that thing we said we feel embarrassed or guilty for; over and over again it goes through our minds -- for the rest of the day, that evening keeping us awake, and then into the next day, and even the next week at times. The worst extreme of this is the person who once failed cannot go back -- they can never reconcile the error.
When we’ve taken a blow or two during a particular day, we can berate ourselves can’t we? We get into this ‘cognitive loop’ whereby we rehash the silly error, or that thing we said we feel embarrassed or guilty for; over and over again it goes through our minds -- for the rest of the day, that evening keeping us awake, and then into the next day, and even the next week at times. The worst extreme of this is the person who once failed cannot go back -- they can never reconcile the error.
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So, what do we do about it? These are a start:
So, what do we do about it? These are a start:
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~~ Know that this ‘looped’ thinking causes us damage when it goes unchecked.
~~ Know that this ‘looped’ thinking causes us damage when it goes unchecked.
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~~ Set about forgiving yourself. Acknowledge that none of us is perfect; we all do stupid things from time to time.
~~ Set about forgiving yourself. Acknowledge that none of us is perfect; we all do stupid things from time to time.
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~~ Talk to someone you trust about it -- it’s almost guaranteed to help us be able to laugh at ourselves.
~~ Talk to someone you trust about it -- it’s almost guaranteed to help us be able to laugh at ourselves.
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~~ Simply think of something else. If you keep coming back to the silly matter, keep re-focusing on something different.
~~ Simply think of something else. If you keep coming back to the silly matter, keep re-focusing on something different.
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Almost no one can be truer to us than our good selves, especially in times of trouble. If we can’t be our own best friend who will? We need to be gentle with ourselves at times, not harsh. Maintaining balance in life is hard; it is even harder, and near impossible, with a low self-image. If you do desire balance in your life, don’t criticize yourself too much -- there are plenty who will line up for that role. Be your own best friend. Especially on days where nothing will go right.
Almost no one can be truer to us than our good selves, especially in times of trouble. If we can’t be our own best friend who will? We need to be gentle with ourselves at times, not harsh. Maintaining balance in life is hard; it is even harder, and near impossible, with a low self-image. If you do desire balance in your life, don’t criticize yourself too much -- there are plenty who will line up for that role. Be your own best friend. Especially on days where nothing will go right.
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Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Copyright © 2008, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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