We all have times in life when the pressure for change is great and we’re compelled to face the truth and do something differently. Or perhaps you’re in a situation where you want to influence another person whose relationship is important to you. You want change. But, how many programs for change crash and burn, and with them, hope? Too many. You don’t want the pain to continue, so you need a proven template.
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There are four (4) key objectives that will go well toward our intended change. They are addressed as questions:
There are four (4) key objectives that will go well toward our intended change. They are addressed as questions:
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1. Will the proposed change resolve the actual problem? Whoever’s issue it is needs to have defined the actual problem. It is meaningless to make change in our lives if it won’t solve the problem it’s intended to address. It’s like scratching a sore. It feels like it will make the sore better but in fact it makes it worse. We need to ensure the proposed change is the right change -- not change for change’s sake.
1. Will the proposed change resolve the actual problem? Whoever’s issue it is needs to have defined the actual problem. It is meaningless to make change in our lives if it won’t solve the problem it’s intended to address. It’s like scratching a sore. It feels like it will make the sore better but in fact it makes it worse. We need to ensure the proposed change is the right change -- not change for change’s sake.
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2. Is there enough pressure to change? It’s said that to effectively change anything we need 1) enough dissatisfaction to motivate us, 2) some vision of what we want, and 3) a process to get there. Pressure to change is firmly set in point one this formula. We must be motivated enough for the change to stick. Also, the pain of change must be less than the pain of staying as we, or the other person, are.
2. Is there enough pressure to change? It’s said that to effectively change anything we need 1) enough dissatisfaction to motivate us, 2) some vision of what we want, and 3) a process to get there. Pressure to change is firmly set in point one this formula. We must be motivated enough for the change to stick. Also, the pain of change must be less than the pain of staying as we, or the other person, are.
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3. Can we sustain the change personally -- have we got personal control over it? No one can sustain a vital life change without having personal control and ownership over it. Is the change coming from you or the other person? This is a serious question that begs an honest answer. If it’s not answered in the affirmative, no matter how much motivation there is, the program for change is compromised. Ownership and buy-in is crucial.
3. Can we sustain the change personally -- have we got personal control over it? No one can sustain a vital life change without having personal control and ownership over it. Is the change coming from you or the other person? This is a serious question that begs an honest answer. If it’s not answered in the affirmative, no matter how much motivation there is, the program for change is compromised. Ownership and buy-in is crucial.
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And finally...
And finally...
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4. Does the proposed change cater for minimal reliance and support of others? We have to do most of the work ourselves. It is incorrect to rely overly on others as this flies in the face of the above point. When we reach milestones in our process for change we need to experience the exhilaration of victory that comes from knowing we / the other person did it, personally.
4. Does the proposed change cater for minimal reliance and support of others? We have to do most of the work ourselves. It is incorrect to rely overly on others as this flies in the face of the above point. When we reach milestones in our process for change we need to experience the exhilaration of victory that comes from knowing we / the other person did it, personally.
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There are few more empowering things in life than having the ability to change, whether it’s giving up something addictive or starting something positive like a diet or exercise program. If you’re the person helping manage or motivate the person seeking to change try to adhere to these general guidelines.
There are few more empowering things in life than having the ability to change, whether it’s giving up something addictive or starting something positive like a diet or exercise program. If you’re the person helping manage or motivate the person seeking to change try to adhere to these general guidelines.
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Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Copyright © 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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Acknowledgement for the basic framework goes to Mr. Peter Simpson, Psychologist / Director of Boylan, Simpson & Simpson, Corporate Psychology Services.
Acknowledgement for the basic framework goes to Mr. Peter Simpson, Psychologist / Director of Boylan, Simpson & Simpson, Corporate Psychology Services.
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