The vast majority of teens think they’re losers. This is reinforced in them in schools, and in homes, and each place in between. This is what Chris Hill believes in his book, Grace-Based Youth Ministry. The giveaway indication of the ‘loser’ self-image is paradoxically bravado… a false bravado.
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If you’re a parent or a loved-one of a teen, this is likely to either ring true for you, or disturb you; perhaps both. We need desperately to do something to turn this around or we face yet another lost generation; a generation that knows not to love. Each life needs love to learn how to love. It’s a very simple concept. “Losers” are only that because they’ve not been truly loved. We see it all around us in society; young lives off the rails all because parents and adult role models have failed (to love) them. It’s a human tragedy of leviathan proportions.
If you’re a parent or a loved-one of a teen, this is likely to either ring true for you, or disturb you; perhaps both. We need desperately to do something to turn this around or we face yet another lost generation; a generation that knows not to love. Each life needs love to learn how to love. It’s a very simple concept. “Losers” are only that because they’ve not been truly loved. We see it all around us in society; young lives off the rails all because parents and adult role models have failed (to love) them. It’s a human tragedy of leviathan proportions.
s
False bravado is a response to fear. It’s an ‘I don’t like myself, so I’ll make out I’m someone different,’ sort of attitude. All teens/people seem to have it at one time or other; some always seem to have it, and ironically it may be when they’re around their peers it’s most apparent. Becoming an adult is confusing and plain hard work. Questions like, ‘Do I like myself?’ and even ‘Do I like my parents?’ seem to prevail.
False bravado is a response to fear. It’s an ‘I don’t like myself, so I’ll make out I’m someone different,’ sort of attitude. All teens/people seem to have it at one time or other; some always seem to have it, and ironically it may be when they’re around their peers it’s most apparent. Becoming an adult is confusing and plain hard work. Questions like, ‘Do I like myself?’ and even ‘Do I like my parents?’ seem to prevail.
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Chris Hill says the winning feeling is the subjective level of personal achievement that can only be ascertained by spiritual contemplation and introspection. Let’s tease that apart to work out what he’s saying:
Chris Hill says the winning feeling is the subjective level of personal achievement that can only be ascertained by spiritual contemplation and introspection. Let’s tease that apart to work out what he’s saying:
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- Feeling like a winner is a subjective thing. No one can gauge what it is; it’s a feeling, and it has nothing to do with what you own or have done. The good thing is anyone can claim the winning perspective. Simply help your teen be proud of what they’ve achieved. They did it. They earned it.
- Feeling like a winner is a subjective thing. No one can gauge what it is; it’s a feeling, and it has nothing to do with what you own or have done. The good thing is anyone can claim the winning perspective. Simply help your teen be proud of what they’ve achieved. They did it. They earned it.
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- To feel successful requires reflection and contemplation. Encourage your teen to do this particular after success. Always praise them for their effort and achievements; never undermine them as a person.
- To feel successful requires reflection and contemplation. Encourage your teen to do this particular after success. Always praise them for their effort and achievements; never undermine them as a person.
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We replay ‘mental tapes’ of the feedback we got from important people. Ensure your teen has the right ‘tapes’ to begin with; only entrust them with trustworthy, positive adults.
We replay ‘mental tapes’ of the feedback we got from important people. Ensure your teen has the right ‘tapes’ to begin with; only entrust them with trustworthy, positive adults.
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‘Tapes’ are either power for life and joy, or, for sadness and destruction.
‘Tapes’ are either power for life and joy, or, for sadness and destruction.
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© Copyright 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
© Copyright 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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