Tuesday, January 1, 2008

How to read body language

BODY LANGUAGE IS AN INCREDIBLE COMMUNICATION TOOL. Here’s the case: Albert Mehrabian discovered in the 1950s that the ‘total impact’ of a message was a mere seven percent verbal, whilst 38 percent was vocal (tone, inflection, other sounds), and a massive 55 percent was non-verbal (i.e. body language). Ray Birdwhistell (1974) found also that over 65 percent of communication is done non-verbally. If we desire better communication skills we best study body language.
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It’s important to know body language is an outward reflection of a person’s emotional condition. The key to reading body language is being able to perceive a person’s emotional condition whilst listening to what they are saying and noting the conditions under which they are saying it.
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Amazingly, we are rarely aware of our postures, movements and gestures; they can be a dead giveaway to our incongruent verbal behaviour, and we hardly ever account for the body language of others in deciphering their messages. This is a big communication trap.
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Men, be aware that women are generally more perceptive. This means they’re better able to spot contradictions between someone’s words and their body language than men.
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There are three rules for accurate reading of body language:
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Rule 1. Read gestures in clusters:
It’s about the total package. “It’s only when you put a word in a sentence with other words that you fully understand its meaning.” Likewise with body language—you need more information to put it all together. Try and observe a number of gestures, movements or postures, viewing the entire person.
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Rule 2. Look for congruence:
“When a person’s words and body language are in conflict, women ignore what is said”—body language is five times more powerful as a communication medium compared with words. We need to look for congruence in word and body language. When the words are not congruent with the actions, the person is possibly lying.
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Rule 3. Read gestures in context:
Look to the environment (hot/cold climate) and the situation (low stress/high stress) plus other contextual determinants to help read whether the body language tells more or less what you need to know.
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How to become a great reader of body language:
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The Pease’s suggest setting aside at least fifteen minutes a day to study body language purely by observing other people, and by also acquiring a conscious awareness of your own body language. It works anywhere people are gathered. Try turning down the sound on the television and see if you can pick the body language.
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Learning to read body language signals not only makes you more acutely aware of how others try to dominate and manipulate, it brings the realisation that others are also doing the same to us and, most importantly, it teaches us to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings and emotions.
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So, be a student of body language and behaviour to not only learn more about others but ultimately come to know yourself better too!
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Source: The Definitive Book of Body Language: How to read others’ thoughts by their gesturesAllan & Barbara Pease (2006), from the section “Understanding the Basics,” pp. 9-30. More information, http://www.peaseinternational.com/
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© Steve J. Wickham, 2008.
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A condensed version of this article is also featured on EzineArticles at: http://EzineArticles.com/?id=904080

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