What repentance really means

Real Christians are more often wrong than they are right. Let me clarify that.

Real Christians acknowledge that they are, in Paul’s words, “sinners of the worst kind.” (1 Timothy 1:15) They are spiritually aware of their mistakes and misdemeanours and they put those things right by prompt use of the very tool God gave broken humanity for putting things right: repentance.

Repentance is what sets Christians apart from non-Christians. By repentance Christians call Jesus, “Lord.” By repentance, Christians worship Jesus in the Spirit and in truth. (John 4:24) We cannot lie and worship in the Spirit and in truth. Repentance is worship.

If, at the moment we first proclaimed our faith in Christ, we acknowledged we were sinners, and were then saved from the CONSEQUENCES of our sins, we can see a heavenly transaction taking place. We exchange our acceptance of who we actually are (sinners), for we accept the truth now, for the saving grace of God.

Things have changed forever now. Something has been changed in us. Now that we’ve agreed to follow Jesus, we’re set to the task of learning and practicing worship. Because we’re now committed to the one who is Spirit and truth, we now align ourselves to Spirit and truth, too, no matter what.

It is a costly discipleship. There is no cheap grace. We cannot say “yes” to Jesus and “no” to his requirements. Yet, all of his requirements could be summed up in the Spirit of repentance, which is to act on the conviction of the Spirit, which occurs in all true believers; therefore, the test of true believers, then, is a fruit of repentance.

See how repentance is a sign whether you’re a real Christian or not? I lived my first 13 years in the faith not really getting it; there was NO fruit of repentance in my life.

Now, this is the importance of repentance. The moment we turn back and don’t live like those who were saved by grace—in other words, the moment we refuse God’s invitation of humility to repent—is the moment we turn our backs on that grace that saved us. We blaspheme grace.

The moment we’re called by someone to reflect on our actions toward them, and don’t acknowledge our sin, is the moment we can consider we’re out of favour with God. We can postulate as much as we like about how wrong they are. How we deal with their claim is, however, between us and God.

But this is where real Christians come unstuck. They exhibit the fruit of repentance and they please God, but they may quickly find they’re in relationships with others who do not repent—other Christians. Now, I’d use the term loosely, “other Christians,” because I believe the Bible teaches that the Kingdom of God lives in the heart of the believer, and if the person who says they believe doesn’t repent when they should, they’re treasonous. Christians don’t go around hurting people and leaving them hurt. It’s direct contravention of Matthew 5:23-24 and the Spirit of Jesus, which is a ministry of reconciliation. Christians come unstuck when they live as they ought to—bearing a positive, daily fruit of repentance—and are transgressed by those who refuse to reciprocate. Those who are called children of God, Jesus said, are those who make peace (Matthew 5:9); not those who allow a war to rage. We make peace when we find ourselves in conflict by repentance.

Now, those who profess faith and who are not often wrong, not only do Christ a disservice, they live a lie. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us,” says 1 John 1:8-10 (NIV).

To the one who says, “Well, I know I’m a sinner, but I’m not wrong on this occasion,” we might hear the Holy Spirit say, “It doesn’t matter whether you’re wrong or not; what matters is how you treat the person who has the grievance against you; that’s what I’m looking at.”

The test of our wrongness is the response of true repentance.

If Paul could say he was a sinner of the worst kind, surely, we can see the purpose in his hyperbole. We share the same heart as Paul. It is tainted by sin. But this is the good news! The very fact that we can’t save ourselves, heralds the fact that God in Jesus can save us, but only if we’re willing to acknowledge we need him, and we only do that when we see our sin—and the effects of our sin as it flows into others’ lives—as it really is.

Only as we face what others say
do we respond to God the right way.

To face others demands humility.

To face others and seek to make peace is repentance,
but to do an about-face shows contempt.

~

Real repentance means this: I am sorry.

Not just a little sorry, enough to say sorry. Even that’s not enough. Saying sorry without meaning it, or meaning it fully, often makes matters far worse.

Sorry enough to understand what we did wrong, and sorry enough to fully become aware.

Sorry enough that we spend time and effort empathising with them for the hurt we caused. This is about testifying against ourselves and that takes courage, but it is often the only way the relationship can be restored. Sorry enough to prove we actually care for the relationship; that we care for a fellow human being (especially human beings we can gain nothing from).

Sorry enough to change not only our mind, but to be challenged enough to modify our behaviour. Repentance means nothing if not the complete commitment to specifically change our ways and permanently.

Sorry enough to convince the person or people we had wronged that we’re serious. Sorry enough to want to earn that lost trust back. Serious enough to warrant forgiveness. Committed enough not to relapse. Prayerful enough to rebuild what was precious that has now become broken.

Because conflict is everywhere, and because we all sin, we need to bear the fruit of repentance every day of our lives.

The best test of the Kingdom of God in us, is apologising to the one we wronged when we have absolutely nothing to gain by it, other than to set them free.

It is a very sad thing for those who have been abused; who have not seen repentance in their perpetrator for the initial act; and because of that, there is an ongoing vicarious trauma suffered. There is nothing of God’s Kingdom in that.