Monday, December 17, 2007

BE THE CHANGE!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
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-Mahatma Gandhi
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THIS QUOTE IS AN AMAZING TRUTH toward the ‘doing’ rather than simply the ‘saying’. Ghandi was without doubt one of the most incredible human beings who ever lived. What was it that he saw in the world that commanded him to believe this and therefore actually ‘do’ it? There seems to be so much talk and so little action these days; it is wearisome believing people who command your attention when they promise change, when you know to expect more of the same.
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Sayin’ and doin’. These two words are poles apart, worlds apart. When we’ve heard it all and seen very little there can be an incredible sense of disillusionment that pervades us. This might look like a form of learned helplessness, as we see things in our world requiring change in response to the truth we see, yet there is no change, and may never be any. Now that’s not a good looking picture. It reminds me of sayings like, “Nothing changes if nothing changes,” or “What is the definition of insanity: expecting vastly different results from the same methods”. Insanity.
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We’ve heard of the Intelligence Quotient, but what I am more interested with here is the ‘Credibility Quotient’. How is a person to become credible and maintain credibility? I’m not going to suggest anything scientific. But I would suggest that if people say what they mean and mean what they say, and prove it by actually doing it, it makes a strong case for their credibility, and the efficacy of change. They’re easier to trust and follow the next time around.
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Credibility and trust are crucial in leadership. Without these elements a leader will struggle to command any sense of respect with his or her charges. So, what gives with credibility—what does it look like? It means that if you’re a leader you must be prepared to be ‘part of the pain’ of change if you expect to see it work. A leader needs to get in and get dirty with the change by getting involved. Now, this just makes pure common sense to me, but it is amazing how many so-called leaders simply don’t pay any interest in getting involved, and making the necessary sacrifices in leading people through a change process. The character (humility and respect etc) of the leader comes out when people see them actually committing to the changes they all see as required—they share a common understanding and a common goal.
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Change in the home is very similar. If you’re in a relationship and there is abuse or inequity, you want and need change. If you see no commitment to change, or your partner is simply saying things to appease you, it’s a worry. How do you facilitate the change you want to see? You could “be the change” as Ghandi suggests. It’s a good starting point. Even more pointedly, if you are the partner who is the perpetrator of the abuse, “Be the change” you want to see; actually start doing it one-day, one-moment-at-a-time. Don’t make excuses or put it off any longer: do it now! Continuing change in this environment is simple if you keep it that way. Like giving anything up, simply keep going one-moment-at-a-time and I can guarantee you the forces that seem so powerful now won’t be in a month or two. That might seem a way off; focus: one-day-at-a-time.
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“Doing change” means staying within your sphere of influence. This is so important. How many people get cheesed off with things that concern them, but they don’t have the ability to change? This is a waste of energy. Let’s explore the remedy. Let’s take a look at a unique characteristic we all have: the ability to form original perceptions.
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Perceptions are funny things; we all have them and they are so varied, and even subtle differences place us a long way away from each other. If we are wise we’ll seek to test our perceptions far enough to say, “Can I do something about this concern?” If the answer is ‘yes’ it is something we can influence: we can actually do something about it. This reminds me of the slogan World Vision used in their 40-hour famine promotion this year... ‘Do something... Do something real... Do something else’ (other than procrastinate). There is no sense in getting ‘all in a tizz’ about something we can’t do anything about, so if the answer to our question is ‘no’ we need to learn to move on, and as the Serenity Prayer suggests, we need to ‘accept the things we cannot change’.
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Now, we commence a totally different ball game if the answer was ‘yes’ and we feel sufficiently passionate about it. This is where the work begins. We’ve done the easy bit, now the ‘proof will be in the pudding’ as they say. Enabling a change process to the “doing” requires planning, commitment, energy and resources. It can only be limited by a lack of passion and commitment.
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I heard recently that a way to reach your goals was via the “bridge of self-discipline”. Isn’t it correct? We can’t achieve any worthwhile goal without needing to restrain our desires. Whether our desire might be stunted by laziness (procrastination) or fed by greed, the antidote is self-discipline; diligence in one word. This word symbolises the correct spirit in activity. It is everything dependable, done in the right way, and with the right intent.
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Doing the things our mind and heart says are important—those things we can actually do—is really important for our self-belief and self-efficacy. Doing things, over simply just saying them, is such a pointer of character because it shows people around you how diligent you are, how committed to ideals you are, and how compassionate you are.
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If you are able to consistently convert the things you say to the activity of doing them, ‘Then, my son [or daughter]’ as Rudyard Kipling said in his poem “If”, ‘You will be a Man [or Woman].’

© Steve J. Wickham, 2007.
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