Letter to the Racism denier, the one against Black Lives Matter

Dear denier

I come to you from a position of seeking to be humble, knowing and conceding that I am part of the problem.  Not only do I have a problem with you not seeing the problem, but I also have a problem in myself that, in not wanting to be racist, I overcompensate by trying too hard, which is its own kind of racism.  I admit, I’m not where I want to be.  I come to you openhanded and openhearted, seeking that we would come to dialogue over what we probably both disagree about: that is that I think that racism is a great example of the most important matter of our time, and of all time, and that is justice for minorities so there can be justice for all.

As a world I’m not sure if we’ve ever been so visibly divided before.  And division cannot be as poignant or fractious as the divide between cultures and races.  I hear you saying, “there is no such divide in my heart.”  But the statistics beg to differ.  The statistics will tell us that there is a deep trench of racism within the majority of caucasians, and we can only expect that there will be a similar mistrust in those of colour, because of the discerned racism that caucasians bear.

From one such Australian report[1] itself:

“New analysis which found that three in four people hold negative views of Indigenous Australians is ‘shocking, but not surprising,’ researchers say.

Key points:

·            ANU researchers analysed responses from over 11,000 people since 2009

·            The data shows an implicit negative bias towards Indigenous Australians “is not imagined”

·            Ethnicity, education, religion, occupation and gender appear to have little impact on people’s implicit bias

Studying data collected over 10 years from over 11,000 people, academics at the Australian National University (ANU) found there was a ‘negative implicit or unconscious bias against Indigenous Australians across the board … which is likely the cause of the racism that many First Australians experience’.

The data was collected online through the Implicit Association Test — a joint initiative created by Harvard, Yale and the University of Sydney.

The test determined people’s implicit bias by measuring how quickly participants matched positive words like joy and love, and negative words like nasty and hurt, with images of Indigenous and Caucasian Australians.

The test found that, overwhelmingly, people held a racial bias against Indigenous Australians.”

How are you feeling now?  Pfft?  I know when I raise a study, you will find a study to refute it.  It’s just the way we argue about science.  But if only we are truthful, we can improve things.  If only we can admit that there is a race bias in us, we can train ourselves to check ourselves in order that we repent of our bias in the moment it arises; just being aware of it is a miracle of God in a person.  Or, would you say that you bear no such biases?  Would you deny the psychology that finds our humanity wanting? Would you have the gall to say biases don’t exist in you?  Would you put yourself above it?  Can you not see that those of us who are in the Black Lives Matter camp find such a phenomenon quite the classic response of supremacy — do you think you’re better than other humans?  That you don’t have biases, including racial prejudices?  Or, is it the case that you’re unaware of your implicit biases, yet you subscribe to thinking of yourself as beyond it?

This is a quest for honesty.  This whole issue of Black Lives Matter is a test of our honesty; of actual inner awareness.

Let’s make some parallels for honesty’s sake.

For me, being a very heterosexual man, I see a pretty woman and I notice a pretty woman; I notice a woman’s appearance; every woman it seems.  It doesn’t matter that I’m married.  I notice because a woman is inherently different to me.  I notice the pretty woman because she is pretty.  And I work with a lot of pretty women.  It’s up to me what I do with that.  It’s not the fault of an attractive woman that I am attracted to her.  And it’s not something for me to be ashamed about.  But it is something for me to own; to take responsibility for, and to ensure that I am fully aware of this as I work with each one, to all of them, and to not betray the relationship with some dishonourable attitudes and behaviours that seek to make more of the relationship than what God designed for it.  As a matter of process, I check in with myself very often before God.

It’s the same, for me, when I interact with a gay man.  I immediately notice my bias.  My God tells me to.  Given my culture and upbringing, my bias has a lot of baggage to get over in terms of people with what I might call a complicated sexuality — gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, +.  Even to suggest the word ‘complicated’ is enough to suggest bias.  Yet, God says it’s my responsibility to become aware of my biases and to own them.  I can’t hide under some rock of bigotry any longer, and you may scoff at that, and say, “Hey buddy, I’m not a bigot,” but the fact is, if we have biases that are unchecked, we do harbour bigotry — always from a place of superiority.  We can’t DO ANYTHING to serve the gay person before us if we aren’t first honest about what we are lacking.  Can you see this?  Or, do you come back with, “Of course, I treat them no differently!” when we both know that you do have a big problem with ‘that lifestyle’?

It’s the same with race.  We notice our physical differences.  If only we could be honest, we might not only acknowledge the biases we’ve got (seeing how far from God’s ideal we are), but we might also notice the prevalence of biases in others, and how very prevalent racism is in too many of our interpersonal contexts.  I know in an Australian context, I hear it regularly, and it always bothers me, yet I haven’t always had the courage to speak up.  These days I do, however.  Do you see them?  Can you see them when they arise?  Don’t you have a problem with these too?  Can’t you see these biases inherent in us and our society?

Racism is everywhere, very implicitly, under the radar.  And it is incumbent on us to do all we can to change the status quo.  The first step in this is to become aware of our implicit bias, amongst the range of other biases we have in simply being human.  If we believe in God, and we follow Jesus, it’s a matter of course to be committed to the truth about ourselves, about where we miss the mark, acknowledging that it’s only in repentance that we and our indigenous/black brothers and sisters stand a chance to relate fairly with each other so that race is no longer an issue, as far as it depends on us.

I’m really hoping something here has challenged you, as we collectively seek to commit to living out the Kingdom on this earth whilst we are alive.  Also, will you help me when I overcompensate?  But please, I beg you, please see WHY I overcompensate.

I trust that you are challenged sufficiently enough to go on your own journey of discovery about the realities of racism.  It’s there.  It’s real.  It cannot be denied.

Thank you for reading.

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[1] Midena, K. Three in four people have an implicit negative bias against Indigenous Australians, study finds (Australian Broadcasting Corporation [ABC] News, Melbourne) Available online retrieved June 13, 2020: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-06-09/three-in-four-negative-bias-against-indigenous-australians-study/12335184

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

On the spiritual abuse of, “It’s sinful to make comparisons”

I always hope that mine will be an honest voice, and I know I’m not alone in holding to that goal.  I always want to call out attitudes and behaviours that cause us consternation — like, “Do NOT sin; try harder!” — particularly because people with them fail to accept our human condition.  I know we can certainly not try hard enough in life, and we all have those days, and many of us have had entire seasons like this for that matter, but I find that most people struggle more often with trying too hard.  We seem to have the opposite problem.  More is it the case that we need to speak life through realism.

When we as people are trying harder than ever, there are default attitudes and behaviours that we all struggle with.  Some people will deny it, but I think this is woven into our human psyche.

Here is one fact.  It tends to be our habit.  We all make comparisons.  It’s silly to say we don’t (or shouldn’t), because we all look over the fence to notice whether the grass is growing better over there or not.  The key point is more, WHO are we comparing with and WHY.

It’s too easy for a leader, mentor or friend to tell you to stop doing something.  It might be okay if you have the capacity to stop doing the thing they are telling you to stop doing.  Well, ideally, there would be no telling.  Guiding isn’t telling.  Guiding is, “Here’s what has worked for me; you are free to try it or something similar, but that’s up to you.”  But too many people take it upon themselves to be insistent that we stop doing something; in this instance it’s to stop comparing ourselves with others.

It does us no harm to compare with others, if we accept that we will do it, whether we are told not to do it or not.  Rather than wholesale change, it would be better to be coached on who to compare with and why.

There is always a dilemma with making comparisons, because we tend to make comparisons with the wrong people.  If anyone has hurt us, especially where the hurt isn’t reconciled, there is a strong temptation to compete with these individuals through comparison.  Of course, this isn’t healthy, and we know it.  They are the last people we want to be comparing ourselves to, yet deep down we may want justice to catch up with them.  Or, at times we’ll compare with a contemporary who’s had more success than we have.  Again, it’s about competition.  Not a good comparison.  Not the right WHO or WHY.  The right WHO is about a person who calls us to a better self, and the right WHY is about being better followers of Christ.

If a particular person catches wind that we have made any comparisons, however, we know how they’ll respond.  We’re met with their disapproval, which is supposed to convict us.  They will expect that we’ll repent of the deed of comparison, as they admonish us: “It’s sinful to compare with others [sense their legalism], you know that — we’ve discussed this before — try harder [again, sense their legalism] from now on [to be perfect].”  They make no account of our humanity, and these kinds of people expect a level of perfection that is unattainable.  These kinds of people help create the berating perfectionist in us.  Little wonder many of us have struggled in our relationship with ourselves.

It would be far better if we accepted the drive within to observe others amid our observation of our own lives, and ponder a healthier model, like making comparisons not so much with people we might otherwise compete with, but with people who are worth emulating.

Have you noticed that if you compare yourself with Maya Angelou or Desmond Tutu, you will only get better?  There is no envy, no striving, no lack of peace.  Emulating other people we admire isn’t unbiblical.  We follow another person as a mentor as they follow Christ.  Paul said that in 1 Corinthians 11:1: “Follow me as I follow Christ.”  Emulating the right people is a very godly activity.  See how trying to stop all comparison is both nonsensical and even unbiblical?

But a legalistic person, heaven help us if they are a leader, will insist that no comparisons be made, and the only way they will be pleased — because they insist on being pleased — is if we feign what is the reality for us all.  And the worst kind of this variety of leader is the one who only allows comparison with themselves, as if they were Christ themselves.  Such a narcissist will be impossible to please, and they are exactly the wrong kind of person we should be emulating.  Indeed, some people will insist we refrain from comparing with anyone, unless it is them we are comparing ourselves with.  We need to be aware of these people and avoid them.

So don’t feel guilty if you catch yourself comparing yourself with others.  Instead use it as a reminder that there are plenty of people worth comparing to; those who call us, by their example, to follow the example of Christ.

Photo by Daniel Norin on Unsplash

The longer effects of grief that some want you to get over too quickly

One of the best pieces of wisdom I ever heard was from a New Zealand pastor, Craig Vernall.  He said it took his family three full years to overcome their grief when his daughter’s husband died tragically.  It got me thinking about my own experience.  It takes us much longer than we anticipate, and much longer than is convenient for others, to process our grief.

We want the pain to be dealt with, and we straddle two realities that cannot ever be reconciled: to have life back as it was and/or to have life be free of pain (comfortable) again.  Cruel as it is, loss permits neither.

One thing the world does not understand is that we will need support for a lot longer than they are prepared to give it to us.  Our grief is still there and just as prominent as ever when their memories of our loss are long gone.  Many (though not all) employers are in this position where they just move on. They just want their worker back; they want them back to full productivity, and not assailed by panic attacks, full of brain fog, forever distracted within the burden of grief, and often questioning the purpose of life now.

The person who is grieving will not be themselves for a very long time.  And the world needs to understand this.

So what do we do when our world doesn’t understand this, because whether our world needs to understand it or not, the sad reality is, our world more often than not won’t.

If it will take us the notional three years to overcome the situational days of sorrow and paralysis, where we will not be ourselves, and the world is ready to move on in a matter of months, we have a problem.

We will need to anticipate change, because we will experience the tragedy of betrayal.  Whether our world sees this as justifiable or not, betrayal is our felt reality.

Our world will move on, and we inevitably will feel that we’ve been left behind.  It’s just the way I’ve seen it work on so many occasions. It doesn’t mean all people will get it wrong.  In fact, there’s a lot to be learned from those leaders and friends who understand grief to the point where they make the required allowances.  These people, no doubt, are Kingdom thinkers, with compassion that joins the purposes of God to transcend worldly paradigms.  They don’t have a productivity mindset, but they surpass this in the faith that journeying faithfully with us will produce beautiful results in the long run.  Indeed, these faithful friends are procurers of healing for us in God’s holy name.  They would rather stick with us through thick and thin than throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I couldn’t write this if I hadn’t have experienced it myself.

But many have experienced the opposite, whereby there is no understanding about the grief, what it has cost, what it continues to cost over time, and the complexities borne in simply making life work.  Too many people lose patience with those who are grieving, and they leave them behind, rather than graciously and generously carrying them forward with them.

Think about this for a moment.  What if you who are not grieving were to commit yourself to carrying one grieving person forward with you who you’re in relationship with?  What if you committed before God to never give up on them?  What if you gently made allowances for the times they were incapable of producing what they had previously produced?  Or are we too utilitarian for that?  Would you commit to making extra time to seek to listen to them?  Or simply to be with them.  What might happen is that God could show you something about the divine nature as you journey with someone who, for no fault of their own, is bearing enormous pain.

Photo by Mateusz Stępień on Unsplash

If black lives are to matter to white people, privilege must go

The Black Lives Matter movement is a scary prospect to the privileged, for they stand to lose power.  It is reprehensible that a black man is strangled to death by a policeman in full sight of many onlookers who catch the vision on their phones.  Yet how many more have been murdered, brutalised, assaulted that never saw the light of day?  There is a global culture of silence and acceptance, ignorance and ambivalence.  The rich get richer, and that kind of thing.  Until now.

When we think of closing the gaps in mortality, where indigenous and black peoples die 10 to 15 years earlier on average than white people, where generational trauma is the outworking of generations of institutional, systemic and systematic abuse, where a section of the community is overpoliced, and where so much covert racism of the subtlest kinds occurs, we barely scratch the surface of the common struggles that are inescapable for the majority of non-whites.  I know there are so many of us who count privilege a great stain on the perceptions of our lives — even though we carry that privilege, we feel it only appropriate that everyone  have that privilege.

So, what’s so bad about white privilege?

§     It’s the subtle acceptance that receiving more favour than others (for no reason other than skin colour) is okay

§     It’s pretending that we all have life equally hard, whilst completely negating the fact that many people live life unimaginably harder just because their skin colour is different.  All have life hard, but life’s harder for some than it is for others

§     It can be about believing that black lives matter, but with complete ambivalence; where we’re not prepared to do anything to support it, or we support action that actually maintains the status quo

§     It’s turning a blind eye to racial and other injustices to stay safe and comfortable

§     It’s almost impossible to see, as white people, that we are born to privilege – this is why some people will never be convinced even though the privilege is very apparent in them

§     It’s the assumption that having greater/better access to power and resources for some is okay

§     It’s seeing that everyone is equal, but with the subtle nuance that people of race are people of race – they’re somehow different

§     It’s missing the point that white privilege is ‘in us’ and needs to be acknowledged first before anything can be done about it

§     It’s failing to acknowledge we are the way we are – privileged – for systemic and generational reasons; (it’s neither our fault nor is it something we can deny, which leaves us with the positive burden to change it)

§     It’s failing to understand that violence doesn’t happen in a vacuum, where privilege sets some apart as being inherently reprobate because of skin colour – I mean, how on earth-as-it-is-in-heaven can that be?!

§     It’s a resounding evidence that silence in the face of injustice is violence

§     It’s ‘tolerance’ of those of colour by white people when it is convenient, to look good, but when tolerance turns into truth, the privilege is seen in the full light of day – this is called covert racism

§     It can be a complete denial of the disparity between black and white, confusing the belief that because all are created equal that all are treated equal – thinking they are one and the same when they aren’t

Rejecting our white privilege will mean sacrifice for us white people.  It will mean entreating discomfort, augmenting change that will touch on the disconcerting.  If we’re not ruffled, there’s not enough happening.  Only when it costs us something will be see change.  We ought not to lament this.  Only now whilst we’re alive can we be part of something akin to what William Wilberforce achieved — and perhaps more.  If we’re going to achieve this, we must be prepared for it to take a generation and more of sustained effort.  The movement must continue to gain momentum.

We’ve all seen injustice in myriad forms, and so many of us have tasted it.  This has served to open our eyes to the plight of our black brothers and sisters.  But open eyes must become ready hands, willing to do what must be done.  Opinions must generate resolve and resolve must generate action.

My point is that black lives must matter if any and all life is to matter.  Unless we get this concept, we don’t get the rest of the concept.  Unless we’re interested in eradicating the worst injustice, we’re truly not bothered by any injustice.  When black lives matter, when we see it, our eyes are then also opened to the fullest gamut of the broad and global cast of injustices that occur in this life — only when we can see a paucity of heaven on earth will we demand we need more heaven on earth.  For a time, we are overwhelmed with grief, but then something happens.  When we see these injustices, our heart feels compelled to help in some way to relieve the pain, to provide acceptance, sanctuary, a safe space.  It is a journey to achieve the right balance of care and concern that doesn’t rip our hearts to shreds because of the grief we bear, with the will to action that change necessitates.  If we who are white have grief to bear in these ways, how much more grief do black people bear?

Black lives matter.  Period.  It must begin there.  We must do better.  We must get the work of racial equality done.  We must overbalance to get equilibrium.  While we’re there, it mustn’t stop there; neither at our words nor on this particular issue.  It mustn’t stop until there is no more injustice.  And it mustn’t stop at our words.  This means we all have plenty of work and prayer to do.  Some thoughts to this end include:

§     MARCHES: Vast numbers all over the world are gathering in marches of protest.  What about Covid?  If not now though, when?  If we go to a march, we go there as a first step, a first commitment.  We show up in numbers to unify with our black brothers and sisters, to focus on unity and not the division.  If we seek elevation for all, we must provide the right to peace for all, acknowledging nobody’s children ought to see their mother or father, aunt or uncle or cousin injured.

§     ACCOUNTABILITY: We must, as individuals, call out every occasion of racism, whether it is obvious or implied.  If we stand for justice we cannot attack the person, but we can attack their policy.  All we need to do is calmly and quickly point out, speaking the truth in love, that their words and behaviour are inconsistent with a shared humanity.  This is a basic level personal commitment.

§     GOODWILL GESTURES: I think we also need to come up with a goodwill Black Lives Matter gesture we can show black people we don’t know to overwhelm them with our solidarity toward them.  We need highly visible ways of showing them that 1) we’re safe and, 2) we support them. Is it some kind of safe upraised forward-facing fist — with a smile?  Whatever it is it needs to be made famous.  It needs to be known over the whole world.

§     PUNISHMENT FOR RACISTS: We also need to deal somehow with the recalcitrant element in society.  This is partly about exercising our personal responsibility, but this is where the law must come to our aid.  It’s up to governments to come on board and come up with policy to support Black Lives Matter.  There needs to coverage of this issue at the highest level at all times.

Acknowledgement: I’d like to acknowledge Alex McKellar without whose help I could not have written this and certainly would have missed the mark.

Photo by Kevin Mueller on Unsplash

Prayer through the watches of night

So many people are going through very hard times right now, and perhaps at least in our living history, the hardest of times ever.

I wonder if now is the time to imagine prayer being like the watches of night.  As we struggle in lament, in numbness, or in anxiety, overwhelmed by in the present state of affairs, or by thought of the unknown future and what that holds, we are counselled well to pray and to imagine we are being prayed for.

I appreciate people letting me know that I can pray for them.  It means they trust me with their concerns, anxieties, griefs and lived-situations.  People often feel inadequate or that they are a burden.  For me, there is no burden in reading a prayer request, and holding that in my heart as I pray.  God also impresses on my heart times to pray for people.

Prayer through the watches of the night is about envisioning that there are so many going through a dark night of the soul experience.  And when we’re on prayer watch, through the watches of night, we can hold you there, safe before the Lord.

When my wife and I were losing Nathanael in 2014, we were amazed at just how much we felt carried by other people’s prayers, and in fact our faith was made easy at this time.  There have been subsequent times in our grief where it is been harder, where we haven’t felt so carried by others’ prayers.  So, knowing we have people praying for us makes a difference.

It won’t be long now and I will need to take a break from writing for a short time in order to focus on getting balances right in my own life as we as a family prepare for a future we hadn’t anticipated.  We are thankful that as of three or four weeks ago I turned a corner mentally that we had been praying for.  I do feel ready for change now if the Lord calls us that way.  I need to be open to overhauling my work arrangements, because as a family, like many of you, we are vulnerable right now.

But not everybody is in that situation, and if you had have asked me four weeks ago, I would’ve been at a loss to know how to deal with the thought of how I would adapt to change.  I say this so you are not alone.  If you are struggling you are in very good company, not that I call myself very good, but at least you know you aren’t alone.  You can know that it doesn’t matter who we are, all of us are open to struggling.

So as we pray for each other through the watches of our nights, let us be cognisant that we all need prayer, and that we all have the honour of praying.

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

A deconstruction of Micah 6:8

We see Micah 6:8 quoted so many times, and I wonder if it’s time that we took a deeper look at what it is directing us to do: I wonder if we need to flip it on its end and begin with humility, then wrestle with mercy, before we can do justice.  Is it any coincidence that Micah 6:8 is an anthem for social justice?  We too easily read it in terms of justice against the oppressor, mercy for the oppressed, and humility overall.  I think it is that, but I also think it’s more than that.  If justice is to be done, it must be just overall.

Micah 6:8b tells us to, “... act justly, love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

The Easy-to-Read version has the full verse saying: “Human, the Lord has told you what goodness is.  This is what he wants from you: Be fair to other people.  Love kindness and loyalty, and humbly obey your God.”

Let’s flip the ‘B’ part of the verse and deconstruct it.

WALK HUMBLY (WITH YOUR GOD)

Everything must begin from the vertical.  All relationships are framed rightly when we put God first.  Humility considers others as important as (and arguably more important than) itself.  If we are honest, we can’t do this for very long in our own strength.  This is why the prophet Micah calls us to walkhumbly.  In other words, it’s only in ardent dependence on God that we have any chance of actually walking humbly, and it is a paradox that the humble usually see that they are anything but humble.  In considering others as (or more) important as (than) oneself, we would not be caught dead lording it over another human being, even if by excuse of meting out ‘justice’.  I hope you can see the absolute imperative nature of walking humbly before we can execute justice.

LOVE MERCY (KINDNESS)

We are still not ready to execute justice just yet.  What is needed is a heart change, and our hearts must turn toward something that is absolutely foreign to us — that being, mercy.  The more hurt we have been in life, the more we can recognise that we must let go of the hardness of our hearts and propagate mercy.  It’s okay to have grieved.  It’s necessary.  It can take time to overcome bitterness.  Grieving bitterness isn’t sin.  It’s a heart recovering.  Once we’ve orientated ourselves toward God, however, and we are in a place of right relationship (for justice) — not by salvation, because if we’re Christian, grace has already given us that place with God — but by the orientation of our heart in the moment, i.e. that we’re not just going to cruel someone just because they’re against us or because they’ve sinned against us, we’re in a place devoted to mercy.  The fruit of mercy is kindness from the heart.

DO JUSTICE 

Only when we have walked humbly and have loved mercy can we do justice properly, that is doing justice through the truth in love.  Love is not always ‘nice’.  It’s often tough.  But it is just.  If we pretend that we can do justice without walking humbly or loving mercy, we fool ourselves. We execute a potentially dangerous justice; a violent justice.  And truly such a justice doesn’t exist, not as a godly justice, and Christians aren’t to be involved in anything else.  We are endeavouring to bring the Kingdom to earth.  If we have missed the mark as far as walking humbly, and we are not genuinely serving God, and we haven’t turned our hearts toward God to receive a mercy we feel compelled to give, we will certainly miss the mark as far as justice is concerned, and we cause detriment to the building of God’s kingdom.  We build in vain, as it says in Psalm 127:1.

But we walk humbly and love mercy so we can do justice.