What really sets empaths and narcissists apart?

Let me start with this premise: those who take responsibility for their lives don’t need to be told to do it, and those who don’t, need to know but won’t take heed.

And this is what sets empaths and narcissists apart; the former does well in life, relationships and achievements because they own what they can impact; the latter harm others (and very often empaths who feel sorry for them!) because they refuse to accept that taking personal responsibility for one’s actions is the key to success.

If you need to repeat yourself to an adult, watch to see if they’re even listening. Chances are they need to know what you’re attempting to help them with, but because they’re rather fond of being right in their own eyes, they have no hope for change. Yet, note the person you don’t need to assist; they see the need of change without much if any prompting.

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The child who is a self-starter will accept a loss, do their best to reconcile it, and move on anyway. The child might start anxiously and doubting. They may be incredibly uncertain. They may voice their sense of insecurity and lack of self-worth. And if they can only be encouraged to learn what they can, take responsibility for what is theirs, and to map out a way to resolution, these children will grow to be adult grownups.

The child who cannot get past the injustice of what occurred, however, will not move on, so therefore they cannot move on. That child will be a grownup child one day. Yes, an oxymoron, but there are many entitled, narcissistic, manipulative adults around who have never learned the value of being honest; that there’s no way past ‘GO’ when they refuse their responsibility and therefore there’s no $200 each time around the board.

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The empath takes on the burden of another person, which we’d all admit is a cost, yet they prosper for their well-placed anxiety, for their care begets care. The feel the heat that the next person feels, yet they communicate love by symbiosis. Be an empath.

But the narcissist couldn’t give a toss, yet they lament that nobody cares about them, never computing just what would make the difference. Don’t be a narcissist.

The empath takes responsibility—at times, many times, too much—and yet, overall, they still flourish. Be an empath.

The narcissist, however, will not and therefore cannot take responsibility and will forever externalise what would be the only thing they have control over. Don’t be a narcissist.

The empath is not only capable of bearing another’s burden, but they’re willing to do so, and favour follows them as a general principle. Be an empath.

Those who refuse to take responsibility are destined to find others to blame, yet they themselves will irrefutably fall and fail, most unfortunately taking responsible people with them. Don’t be a narcissist.

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There is a discipleship conundrum in this.

Those who bear no responsibility for their behaviour don’t have the traits for growth. It is that simple. You might be thinking of people right now—perhaps even yourself—as sitting in either camp; those who do take responsibility and those who don’t.

Let’s zone in on apology…

Those who don’t take responsibility, don’t tend to apologise, whereas those who do take responsibility, do apologise, and they have hope for reconciling their broken relationships. There tends to be less hurt in their lives.

Those who don’t ever sincerely apologise—yes, let’s label them ‘narcissistic’—leave a long trail of relationships that ‘didn’t work out’.

Do you tend to apologise and your partner not? Or, is it the other way around?

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The key for the empath is to care but not to care too much that they enable narcissists to abuse them.

The prayer for the narcissistic is they’ll gain the miracle of insight, but the truth is, a miracle is truly necessary.

Narcissists don’t change because they refuse to accept the only power for change; the taking of their responsibility.

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We all bear God’s image, but it is only the empath who truly bears the heart of God. The empath is not perfect, but they find unconscionable acts unconscionable and cannot do them without making amends. They are little Jesus’s. Narcissists, on the other hand, are little devils.

Image by emeza on DeviantArt.