Monday, September 9, 2019

There’s no leadership in burning people

It happened again recently; the third time this year. A Christian leader absolutely shattered by the way their church has treated them. Usually there’s the common denominator of a truth spoken that wasn’t appreciated.
It took me a while to understand that certain norms in secular management life that I’d taken for granted seem not to be norms in church management life.
That is not to say that this doesn’t occur also in a good many churches—I know it does. It’s just that, with the present church as an exception, and perhaps the previous church (where I wasn’t a pastor), all of the previous church experiences I’ve had have featured conflict that fractured relationships.
In too many churches there is no capacity to challenge the leadership. It’s like the leadership sits in a bubble all its own. I’ve heard boards of these churches say they have robust discussions, but if they can’t honour negative feedback within or without, they bear narcissistic qualities and will always be dysfunctional at best; a blight on the glory of God at worst.
Here’s where churches can get it seriously wrong. They burn people who disagree with them. At the opportunity to prove they’re up for robust dialogue they cauterise it and send the people concerned into the wilderness—the scapegoat theology of Leviticus 16:8 and thereabouts. Good and God-fearing church people, many who have invested decades and more in their local fellowships, for one disagreement, are cast out like demons—and in some cases are called demons!
All because they had the courage to stand for a principle. They should have been applauded for their audacity. Indeed, even if they were demonic (and none of them are) the wisest practice for a leadership is to party with the protagonist and rely on God’s Spirit and leading for how to gently and sensitively handle the situation. What’s needed most of all is humility—to continually ask, “Lord, show us the log in OUR eye, and cause me to believe the best about this person who acts like our enemy.” By some mysterious working of the Spirit, God honours the leadership that leads with humility to work unwaveringly on the relationships at hand.
But, no, what happens too often is people are burned. They are scapegoated. It’s easier for self-righteous churches to think they’re doing the right thing to cast an individual or a couple out of their midst—for them never to return—as the sacrifice that purges them of their guilt. Of course, it does nothing about the sin WITHIN that church’s ranks that does desperately need to be deal with—but never is. It’s tolerated as people ‘keep’ the peace—hence there is no true peace, and no true honouring of God.
I’ve heard it first-hand and we’ve lived it first-hand (twice). When you’re cast out of a church it brings basically your whole life to ruin—I do not exaggerate.
The mocking of justice, the severed relationships with dozens if not hundreds of people, the dodging people and places, the conflict within the family, the family members who are vicariously burned into the bargain, the taint on reputation, the loss of income in many cases, the fact you’re silenced, the jarring issue of ‘forgiving’ the abuser and not being able to (including the abuse of theology around the issue of forgiveness), the depression and anxiety, the trauma that bonds, the sinful use of Christian doctrine, the many levels and incidences of organisational and individual betrayal, and the censure of God’s good work—all over an impasse. All when a more sensitive and kinder method could have resolved it all!
There’s no leadership in burning people, just as there’s no place in churches to cover up the sins of leadership, and even if a leadership has the power to ex-communicate a pastor or leader or member of the church it’s never a godly thing to do such a thing unless everybody knows what’s going on and it’s for the good of all.
Of course, the greatest test of a church applying Matthew 18:17 correctly is how they treat the one they call ‘a sinner and tax collector’… how did Jesus treat them? He certainly didn’t ostracise them. They were the very people Jesus hung around with.

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